Time to… MOVE ON

After a major break-up, we have all made this statement… at least once, if not a dozen times.

I want my ex ‘back’!

Awakening this morning to a love song blasting into my sleepy head —
tipping off my ‘chi’ to reawaken the reality or perhaps dissolve my
fantasy of desire associated with ‘believing that I want my ex back in
my life’ ??? WHAT? Mumbling as I stumble out of bed, my head hurts to
even think about the emotional pain associated with such traumatic
amorous thoughts.

Is s/he still in my life? Could I have been so
emotionally attached that I have failed to release him/her and this
entity is still controlling my every emotional chord? As I peer into the
mirror, thinking WOW, I look pretty miserable and awful this morning, yeah, I’ve
lost weight too, and I just feel sad, depressed, hopeless… as I rub my face and head,
thinking, agonizing the eternal question of ‘WHY’… do I keep thinking, dreaming, wishing, wanting… WHY?

Why did I have this
dream, what is it all about, where did this thought about wanting my ex back, or worse, returning to
my ex, or that I would even ever consider doing that or needing that or
desiring that… and ‘WHY’ would I ever want this nightmarish…dream, desire
or thought to come true? After all the hell we had been thru together, and all
the unhappiness, pain and suffering that I (we) went thru, ‘WHY ON
EARTH’ would I ever consider repeating such a life as what I experienced during
that turbulent time.

And now for the answer.

There is
only one reason we as humans believe, think, desire, fantasize, dream or ever consider returning to
something in our lives that we once believed to nearly be intolerable,
or so painful that perhaps we even considered death as an option to end
the torment:  FAMILIARITY.

We as humans are incredibly adaptable.
Even if we believe where we are or something in our lives to be
incredibly miserable, eventually if we stay long enough ‘in that state’ —whether
emotionally, physically, or conditionally, we will grow to adapt to it.
Don’t confuse acceptance with adaptability. Conceptually there is a
vast difference between the two terms, or states of mind.

Familiarity
means to become habitually associated with the routine or general
nature of things as it appears in our day to day existence, routine, or
lifestyle. We are familiar with how we go about our daily operations
both domestically and professionally. We are familiar with the faces we
see in our everyday environment due to the consistency of seeing them
and interacting with these people regularly.

We may or may not
get along well with the person or people with whom we share a home or
office with, but we are familiar with who they are and their behaviors.
In our mind, psychologically, this ‘knowledge’ of this other person or
people & their actions, etc., creates a certain safety and a
security within our environment that we associate and adapt ourselves
& our daily routine around.

Over a period of time, because
our predictions are accurate of how this person behaves, or that person
responds, it is considered our ‘conditioned environment’ meaning that we
are conditioned to behave a particular way to the stimulus or people
whom which we are connected, or familiar with, as it becomes our
reality. Our reality gives us structure and stability. Even if it is
‘the wrong’ structure or stability that would be conducive to our real
happiness or a happy life and lifestyle. Yet, as human beings, whatever
the environment or whomever the people associated within our
environment, we learn that we can count on everything associated with
the environment as well as the people in our environment to be (even
when we adjust and adapt to negative or abusive conditions) what we
consider our ‘norm’ or “what is familiar to us” because we have learned
to predict their behaviors and actions, and all that is within our day
to day environ.

Therefore, rather than beat yourself up for day
or nite dreaming of returning to your ex. or having your ex return to
you, even if the relationship was abusive, or far less than what you
ever considered to be ‘happy’ — consider the amount of time that you
spent in this relationship or in the environment that which you adjusted
yourself and your psyche’ to. And you’ll have your answer. It’s not
what you truly desire for yourself, it’s more about what you are
familiar with, and that could be about pain and suffering moreso than
living happily.

Ponder this notion, close your eyes and open
your heart, and you will truly see ‘everything’ with much better
clarity. And of course, practicing creative visualization of what makes
you happy and feeling your best is where you’ll find peace as well as an
ability to manifest what you truly want, need and desire in your life.

And
remember this one final thought, where you are now, is exactly where
you are supposed to be — and if it’s not where you see yourself or
where you are truly happy, then look at your circumstances, and where
you are, within. Have you adapted to less than favorable conditions
because it was more about what you were conditioned to and familiar
with, or because being where you are is truly allowing you to thrive,
feel good about yourself and live the happy life and lifestyle that
you’ve always desired to live?

Your life can change, now. From
the inside out. And after doing the work you need to do, for you, then
perhaps you’ll see that ‘the ex’ you’re clinging to is more about ‘the
ex inside of you’ that no longer exists because you’ve changed your
environment and your lifestyle, and what you miss is the person inside
whom you became familiar with, and not really your ‘ex’.

Take a deep breath, yes, just B R E A T H E.
Take a moment to look around, embrace your environment…
Choose to feel the
calm vs. pressure
relaxed vs. threatened
content vs. stressed.

If you still feel anxious, then what you are perhaps
missing is what is likely to be ‘familiar’ to you… a stressful environment or perhaps a lifestyle filled with little rest and too much drama, constantly striving to meet this deadline, or the expectations of someone else, or a multitude of far reaching career, relational or personal goals.

You’ve created a lifestyle by the choices you’ve made—- that you have become accustomed
to, and the tense strung out person you have become is not the person whom you truly are. The fearful little girl
or boy that you became associated with your environment that you became
conditioned to, and those people around you that helped you create this
detrimental place you once called ‘Home’… does not have to be where you remain indefinitely. You have the power to change what is not healthy or what is not working harmonically for you—-and it all boils down to your choices. Our life is governed by the decisions we make about the choices we create.~

Happiness is your real and natural HOME.
It’s time to make the choice to go HOME’!!

‘Happiness is a Choice’
”Love is a Choice’ (Textbook and Workbook)

I recommend these two valuable resources, they can change your life.~

Image result for couples getting back together

Image result for couples getting back together
 
Image result for couples getting back together

Image result for couples getting back together

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